Happy Candles Dance with Light

Happy candles dance with light
As children watch them with delight.
Now they flicker, now they glow,
Until the flames burn down too low.
Kindness is a candle bright
Kindled by an inner light,
A flame that brings an inner glow --
Happiness, as well you know!

Happiness Depends on Lighting Lights

Happiness depends on lighting lights,
As what one does without reflects within.
People plead the poignance of their plights,
Pleased to play the hapless harlequin.
Yet one must purify the sacred temple,
Haul the lamps up, clean them, set them out,
Acting to await the miracle,
Neither seized by fear nor free of doubt.
Underneath all miracles is faith,
Knowing not, but hoping what might be,
Kindled by the will, though pain and death
Assault with darkness all that one can see
Here, where all is here miraculously.
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Eight Days the Light Continued on Its Own

Eight days the light continued on its own:
A miracle, they say, but not more so
Than ordinary lives of flesh and bone,
Consuming wicks burned ashen long ago.
Within there is a mystic lake of fire,
Fuel-less energy, power uncelled,
Unmeasured fount of obstinate desire,
Hope burning, where no hope was ever held.
Invisible source of all that's seen or seeing,
Unseen light that animates the void;
Unlit spark of indivisible Being,
Shard of One that cannot be destroyed:
To be so vast a miracle till death
Is why we struggle fiercely for each breath.

Given the Nature of Reality

Given the nature of reality
And the elusiveness of truth;
Being aware of ambiguity
Re: uncertainties of proof;
In the service of not seeming
Excessively uncouth:
Light a candle. Save a rabbi.
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Your Legacy Must Be Both Love and Fear

Your legacy must be both love and fear.
I know that when you died, you feared for me.
The family curse you carried in your breast
Was not a gift you wanted to pass on.
But fear of it, just like my love for you,
Must linger in my heart, unwelcome guest!
And as I weep for your too early death,
I also can hear rumblings of my own.
Ah, Mother! We are linked like paper dolls,
A line of little cutouts in a row.
I see my clearest memories in my mirror
And feel your anguish bloom beneath my breast.
For this, my love for you is more, not less.
In our misfortune there's a common grace:
For me, in that you must have grieved my burden;
For you, in that you must have mine foreseen.
The Cancer That Killed You Was Part of You Gone Quite Insane
The cancer that killed you was part of you gone quite insane:
The good run amok; death from life bursting awry,
Like a poor paranoid on a bell tower sniping away,
Killing the order that gives all the colony life.
Nature, of course, has madness built into its music,
Disturbing its peace with the agony all artists crave.
Perhaps that's what killed you: the one-in-so-many malfunctions
That chaos requires to shatter the oneness of light.
But chaos is aided in our time by greed in abundance:
Greed like a cancer destroying our colony Earth;
Greed that we eat, drink, and breathe, in our dreams, in our language;
Greed in the nuclei of our dwindling faiths.
What killed you, my loved one, is blended in recycled plastic
Spewing its toxins in micrograms into the sky.
Your life was a goat on the altar of modern convenience,
Bearing the sins of us all towards that merciless god.
We live in a world whose rulers are partners with death;
For whom cancer must be a number that balances out.
You were just perhaps the unlucky percent to be traded
For progress towards some CEO's end-of-year bottom line.
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There's Beauty in the Barest Breath of Sunshine

There's beauty in the barest breath of sunshine,
Wasted on all but those who know despair.
Each wound turns passions just a bit more grey,
Not adding new nor taking old away,
Trading joy for something far less fair,
Yet turning grace to something far more fine.
For such, there is a winding of the way
In which a bleakness, soon become a sign,
Vividly undoes the dying day,
Evoking longings one can hardly bear.
When Life Becomes a Sea of Pain
When life becomes a sea of pain
And every moment agony
I must endure again, again,
It is a curse to have to be.
And every moment agony,
And every longing fixed on death;
It is a curse to have to be
And fight by instinct for each breath.
And every longing fixed on death
Even as I must go on
And fight by instinct for each breath,
Sailing thus, though loved, alone.
Even as I must go on,
You watch me helpless from the shore;
Sailing thus, though loved, alone,
I need you with me all the more.
You watch me helpless from the shore
As I endure again, again;
I need you with me all the more
When life becomes a sea of pain
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Thank You for Having Faith in Me

Thank you for having faith in me,
However hard it was.
An illness is compounded by
No one coming near.
Kindness can take courage when
You see what mania does.
Opening your arms to me
Unravels my own fear.
Thank You for the Heart Your Loved One Gave Me
Thank you for the heart your loved one gave me.
How strange that it should beat within my chest!
All are one, and that is what has saved me,
Nor does one truly die till all find rest.
Know that in your loved one's heart a purpose
Yet drives the ancient inborn urge to be.
Our union is not merely on the surface,
Unraveling the words that make me, me.
The Gift of Life Is Never More or Less
The gift of life is never more or less.
Either days or years are merely moments.
Reverence remains the source of bliss.
More memories do not increase remembrance.
If death must early come, then let it be
Nor more nor less than if it had come late:
A part of a much larger mystery,
Leaving wind and wisdom in its wake.
Longing is the music of our sphere,
Yearning for a time past time and space
In which all that we love is ever here,
Love everlasting, which is now our grace,
Living with us more than we can bear.
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Some Find It Quite Sufficient to Endure

Some find it quite sufficient to endure
In permanent and unremitting pain,
X-ing out all else but getting through
The day with neither loss nor hope of gain,
Yearning more for closure than for cure.
Such find faith in difficult terrain,
Immersed in grace both vivid and unsure,
Xerophytes that do as they must do.
Some Find Their Identity in Courage
Some find their identity in courage,
In giving nothing up to loss or pain,
X-ing out all traces of self-pity,
Then taking on the demons once again,
Yielding only what the years must ravage.
Sing, then, of those who rise above the damage,
In valor beautiful, if rarely pretty,
Xerophytes that bloom in harsh terrain.
O Lord, Help Me Be a Burden
O Lord, help me be a burden!
My mother and my sister do their duty,
But I can see impatience in their eyes.
Help me, please, endure until my time.
My mother and my sister do their duty,
Loving me as righteousness demands.
Help me, please, endure until my time,
And midst my pain to live with ample grace.
Loving me as righteousness demands,
They teach me how to lean upon your love,
And midst my pain to live with ample grace.
O lift me up upon your unspent shoulders!
They teach me how to lean upon your love,
But I can see impatience in their eyes.
O lift me up upon your unspent shoulders!
O Lord, help me be a burden!
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I Pray for You and Wish I Could Do More

I pray for you and wish I could do more,
But more I cannot do from far away.
Like leaves before the wind we cannot stay,
Ripped dancing, dancing to the forest floor.
I wish I could your ailing health restore
And bring you to the strength of yesterday,
But all we mortal souls can do is pray
That God might alter what we have in store.
The beauty in our fragile life is love,
The only thing that makes the moment matter,
The golden thread that binds us all in light.
I wish, I wish I could your pain remove,
But like a wall the truth my will must shatter,
And so I send my prayers into the night.
Mental Illness Doesn't Touch the Soul
Mental illness doesn't touch the soul
Even as it punishes the mind.
None can will the wanderings of the wind,
Though winter come, and tempests take their toll.
All who suffer innocent shall find
Love waiting by the window, well and whole,
Inside the heart, where it has full control,
Longing ever, ever unresigned.
Let go your fear, and follow, then, your path,
Neither more nor less constrained than those
Embraced by gods less ruthless in their wrath.
Sing bravely down the windrows of your woes,
Savoring a grace that comes and goes.
So May a Tiny, Clever Enemy
So may a tiny, clever enemy
Wield more power than the greatest states.
Inventive, mutant, merciless murderers,
Now they plot as the world prepares and waits,
Each moment shadowed by catastrophe.
For us, the only road to victory
Lies through the valley of the sufferers,
Unified in love till death abates.
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Grace Comes with a Patina of Pain

Grace comes with a patina of pain.
Each creature must endure what it desires.
There are days one would not wish again,
When all one is, is wish till pain expires.
Expire it does in time, and will for you,
Lest it seem as though time will not run,
Lounging by the bed though dawn is due,
Sensing savagely you want it gone.
Oh, yes, we know that this is life, though we
Outlive both pain and joy. The will to be
Nothing wills but for the inner One.
Hallelujah! I'm Pregnant! Praise the Lord!
Hallelujah! I'm pregnant! Praise the Lord!
For the Lord has quickened my womb! With my husband,
Of course, and Dr. Heller, who quickened the sperm.
Which makes it no less a miracle.
For the Lord has quickened my womb! With my husband
I thank Him and science both, and bless them.
Which makes it no less a miracle
Of the Lord, Who works through the works of our hands.
I thank Him and science both, and bless them.
With science I have but a passing acquaintance.
Of the Lord Who works through the works of our hands,
Of the Lord I sing all the words in my heart!
With science I have but a passing acquaintance,
Of course, and Dr. Heller, who quickened the sperm.
Of the Lord I sing all the words in my heart:
Hallelujah! I'm pregnant! Praise the Lord!
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Eighty-Eight

Eighty-eight spends much of life in bed,
Interred beyond her time in drugs and pain.
Grateful only for the gift of sleep,
Having lost the will to laugh or weep,
The shrunken doll repeats just one refrain,
Yearning for the comforts of the dead.
Even so, the trail of pills has led
Into a world she grapples with in vain,
Grasping for a grace she cannot keep,
Harsh and vivid hauntings of the brain
That make of life a stew of joy and dread.
Given the Fragility of Life
Given the fragility of life,
Each of us remains a miracle,
Though new emerged from some bright sea of pain.
When every second feels just like a knife
Entering the soft flesh of the will,
Life whispers soon we will be well again.
Linger, then, along the edge of shade;
Soon enough you will be in the sun,
Open-armed, erect, and unafraid.
Old wounds remind us of fierce battles won,
Nor will our patient faith not be repaid.
Cherrie
Cherrie is now using Debbie's kidney,*
Having lost the service of her own.
Each moment of existence is a gift
Replacing just the one one just has left,
Renewing momently the moment gone.
In such a melody each note exactly
Embodies the full grace of what was done.
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Diabetes Tells Us We're Machines

Diabetes tells us we're machines,
Intended to exist but for a time.
All that brought us pleasure in our prime
Breaks down to prove the metal of our means.
Eventually, all of us must die,
Though, perhaps, not quite so bit-by-bit.
Each soul must see of life the whole of it,
So as to know of death the reason why.
Death Rides with Us on Our Ecstasy
Death rides with us on our ecstasy,
Unwanted fellow traveler of joy,
Wanderer within our will to be,
Finding in our promiscuity
Multiple partners to pillage and destroy.
Death rides with us on our ecstasy,
Seed within our seed sown carelessly
By dupes who would the enemy deploy,
Wanderer within our will to be,
Foiled alone by a society
Whose common strength of will does each will buoy.
Death rides with us on our ecstasy,
Less threatening the more fidelity
Fences off the flesh with which we toy.
Wanderer within our will to be,
AIDS, if nothing else, has helped us see
That we must love if we would lust enjoy.
Death rides with us on our ecstasy,
Wanderer within our will to be.
Debbie
Debbie has donated her right kidney,*
Ever generous, even with her life.
Being is a gift to be passed on
Before one's private miracle is done,
Image of a grace not grace enough
Except when given to another gladly.
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